Yes, Cleveland, There Is A Santa Claus

Last night, I did not want to go to bed.  I was afraid that I would wake up and realize this was all a dream.

It DID happen.  The Cleveland Cavaliers are NBA Champions.

The pure bliss expressed by the team, the fans, and my own husband at the moment of victory, are moments you live for.  There are very few times in life when you get to experience pure, genuine emotion.  When you get to experience those pure, genuine emotions with not only people that are important to you, but also the masses, THAT is a feeling that is indescribable.

It has been a long time coming.  It was worth the wait.

Why has Cleveland continued to support their sports teams through all of the adversity?  Cleveland fans love their teams because the teams are a direct reflection of the city.  Scrappy underdogs that do not ask for much and do not get much.  Hard workers that believe with perseverance and faith, your dreams will be realized.  People that no matter what others may say, keep their heads up and continue to move towards a greater goal.

While an NBA Championship may seem trivial, it is exactly what we needed.  I truly believe it reignited the faith of so many that started to believe there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  It proved that you should never give up.  It demonstrated that we need each other, be kind and work together, we will come out on top.

Yes, Cleveland, there is a Santa Claus.  Believe and keep your dreams alive.  Time is not up until the clock is at zero.  It is never too late to accomplish what everyone else says that you cannot.  When you think that you cannot go on, dig deep inside and find that motivation to keep going.  This is OUR time.  Enjoy every moment, and use this as motivation to keep YOUR fire burning.

Mike purchased this cigar in 1997 in the afternoon before game 7 of the World Series.  He thought he would get to smoke it after the Indians won the World Series.  That was not to be.  He has held on to it all this time.  He finally got to enjoy this cigar last night.

Kent State University

Picture it...

Moundsville, West Virginia August 1995 - May 1996.  It's an exciting year filled with many milestones.  In August, I began my senior year of high school. In October, I turned 18.  Finally, an adult! With all of the exciting changes came many important decisions.  Where would I go to college? What would I choose as my future career?

I wanted, more than anything, to attend Kent State University.  I grew up in a broken home. Kent State University was half way between my mother's and my father's home.  It was far enough away, that I felt I could spread my wings and fly, yet close enough to either parent that I didn't feel completely alone. 

It wasn't to be.  I went to another college and like many other young adults, my life took me in another direction than originally planned.  I decided to leave college after I completed my first year to figure out "who I was". I moved from West Virginia, where I spent my formative years, to Ohio where I was born and my dad's family lived.

In December 2004, I graduated from Lorain County Community College. I obtained my Associate's of Science in Nursing (ADN) and in February 2005 I sat for and passed my nursing boards.  I was officially an RN! Prior to graduating from LCCC, I had decided that I wasn't done pursuing my nursing education and upon graduation I immediately began taking core education requirement classes for a Bachelor's degree.  When deciding upon which college I would attend to obtain my Bachelor's of Science in Nursing (BSN), it couldn't have been more perfect.  Kent State University, the college I had originally wanted to attend, was the obvious choice. 

Kent State University has been in the news and a Twitter trending topic in the past few days.  Unfortunately, it hasn't necessarily been the best news.  The football team was clobbered by Ohio State University on Saturday.  This morning, I found the news to be disgusting.  A company decided to use the horrific historic event that took place on the Kent State University campus for publicity.  It backfired.  The general consensus is outrage towards the company, and the younger generation who may not have been educated on the May 4, 1970 event, learned a bit of history. 

After seeing a company completely disrespect Kent State, I decided that I would return to my blog to write about what Kent State University has meant to me. 

After moving to Ohio, I began working at Energizer.  First, as a security guard, then as an information assistant in the corporate library.  I can't say enough good things about Energizer either.  It's where I grew up.  It's where I met my husband.  It's where I learned about the kind of woman I wanted to be. 

The woman I reported to at Energizer, was a graduate of Kent State University.  She attended in the 1970's after the campus and the tone of our culture was forever changed by those events in May 1970.  She taught me about the kind of woman I wanted to be.  I will always hold a dear place in my heart for her.  To this day, she remains the most influential female figure in my life.  I will never be able to thank her enough for showing me what it means to be professional, hardworking, confident, and independent. 

At Kent State University, I began to believe in myself again academically.  I was on the Dean's List, I was inducted into the Tau Sigma National Honor Society for Transfer Students and the Golden Key International Honor Society for my academic achievements.  By choosing to complete my BSN in an online program, I learned more than I could have ever imagined through the interactions with my fellow classmates.  The instructors were encouraging and besides genuinely being proud to be a part of the future of the profession, they fostered an environment of intense learning and sharing of experiences.

By obtaining my BSN, I was able to realize a career goal of becoming a clinical instructor at LCCC.  I was able to give back to the profession that has been so good to me by leading new members into the profession.  As I prepare for the next step in my nursing career, I am again choosing Kent State University for their excellent Master's program - Adult Nurse Practitioner. 

To me, Kent State University isn't only a college that is spoken about in the history books.  It is the place where I found a part of me that I thought was forever lost.  It is the place that will allow me to further my nursing career. 

Thank you Kent State University for being a part of my life. 

If you are reading this, and you are also a Kent State University Alumni, I encourage you to share the positive experiences you had as a student and what the college has meant to you.  Let's not let a despicable company make the news negative. Let's show the world how great Kent State University is.  

Take A Long Hard Look At Yourself

Being a grownup isn't all it is cracked up to be. In my opinion, one of the biggest challenges of adulthood is self-reflection and the ability to be honest with yourself - taking a good hard look at yourself.

I like to think of myself as a happy, easy-going person.  I can find humor in most any situation, I don't take myself too seriously, and I believe that you should do (at least) one fun thing that brings you joy each day. I also admit that I can be intense, a perfectionist to a fault, and controlling.  Am I writing about the same person, or am I kidding myself about the good?  One thing I know for sure is that I am a caregiver.  I am concerned about other's need and comforts above my own.  If I know you, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. I don't think anyone would deny this aspect of my personality.

One thing that I have never liked too much about myself is that I avoid conflict at all costs, including the cost of my own happiness. I was raised to believe that, above all else, it is of utmost importance for everyone to like you - ensure that you never "make" anyone mad at you.  As a result of this, I haven't always spoken up when I have been hurt or felt wronged.  Now that I am getting older, I am sincerely struggling with the balance of standing up for myself and not hurting others.  I seem to be failing more than I am succeeding. 

Could it be that I have created my own personal culture of allowing those closest to me to believe that I have a spirit tougher than nails, that I can take anything? Have I led those closest to me to believe that respect isn't necessary? Could it be that if I were any other person, the things that I say and do wouldn't be so hurtful, but because the behavior of standing up for myself is out of character, it feels like an attack when it isn't?

I have been struggling with health issues for seven years now.  I have had eight surgeries. My medical issues have become a really bad game of "Would You Rather" - with none of the options being funny.  In addition to getting older, I think the struggles over the past seven years have really forced me to re-evaluate my interactions with others. 

It is especially difficult for me to reach out and ask for help.  I am asking for your help now. I am not sharing this personal struggle to garner pity or to put a damper on your day.  I am sharing this struggle because I know that I am not alone.  I know that this is an age-old struggle. I am asking you, my friends, to share your stories/experiences with me. How do you balance standing up for yourself, while not hurting the other party? What approach did you find worked best when you turned the corner and began demanding more respect in your personal relationships? What advice would you give to someone with a new found confidence that is struggling with re-establishing relationship boundaries?

For those of you wondering, no Mike and I aren't having problems. You can breathe easy.  Thanks in advance for your help.  I promise, I will pay it forward.

I'm Back

I have been thinking about getting back to blogging. I didn't realize it had been so long since I wrote anything. 

I can say that I am back, so watch out! You have been warned. 

Expect my future posts to be a little more revealing - no holds barred. 

It's on! 

Is It Really That Bad?

I have always been a firm believer that you create your OWN destiny.  After witnessing the "Arab Spring" through various media sources, I believe this even more so to be true.  These individuals, seized an opportunity and used all available resources afforded to them.  I have witnessed, first hand, individuals in less fortunate countries who are not able to change their circumstances.  Here in the United States, we are among the most fortunate individuals in the world.  We have the opportunity to be born into nothing and rise to greatness - if that is what we desire.  

"Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work".  These words were said by Thomas Edison and is my favorite quote.  Your life is what you make it to be.  No one is responsible for your happiness, sadness, success, or misfortune but yourself.  Don't like what is happening? Change it. Like the way that things are going? Work to keep them that way.  

I do not like to complain, and if you ask those closest to me, you will rarely hear me do so.  Granted, I have my days but that is not my "theme".  I have always been one to find a glimmer of light in nearly any situation.  I think, "What is my responsibility in this situation and what can I do to make it better?".  I always keep pushing, no matter what.  I cannot imagine living a life where I feel hopeless and feel as if there is nothing that I can do, personally, to make my circumstances better and that my only option is to complain to anyone who will listen. 


Recently, it seems that more and more people are complaining.  Complaining about circumstances that they, in fact, can control.  In addition, what they are complaining about may just be what someone else, who is less fortunate, desires.  It's getting to the point of the "boy who cried wolf".  "Is it really THAT bad?".  While I don't suggest that anyone neglects their own needs, I do wish that more people considered their blessings and responsibilities prior to complaining about every aspect of their life. 


How do we fix this? I am not a Psychologist and I don't have all the answers.  Perhaps, the answer is as simple as slowing down, taking a step back, and realizing what your blessings are.  Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses and seek out assistance to build upon both.  Nothing will be accomplished if you are not, first, completely honest with yourself. Most of all, find an inspiration.  After witnessing the "Arab Spring", I have one more inspirational group of individuals to add to my list!

New Kids On The Block

In 1989 when I was 12 years old, the thing that I wanted most was tickets to a New Kids On The Block concert.  I had all their tapes, yes I said tapes, and listened to them until they were worn out.  I told my Mom they would be around forever.  She assured me that they wouldn't be.  I never got to see them in concert and they did, in fact, break up a few short years later.

I never forgot the five boys from Boston (Donnie, Danny, Jonathan, Jordan, and Joey), who were my first loves.  Anytime I had a party at my house, you could be sure I would be playing "The Right Stuff" and doing the dance.  I played it so often that my niece, Chloe, who is now 7, counted "The Right Stuff" as her favorite song at age 4.  My tapes had long been worn out, but I had every song on Napster.

Fast forward to 2008.  After exploring solo music careers, acting careers (movie, television, and Broadway), and real estate careers, they decided it was time to again grace the world with their presence.  They released a new CD "The Block" and booked a small reunion tour. 

I was lucky enough to get tickets to their first stop in Cleveland.  I got the tickets for my birthday, from my husband.  The person who was supposed to go with me, couldn't last minute, so my husband begrudgingly went along.  When they started singing "The Right Stuff" I literally started trembling like a 13 year old girl, I cried, and nearly wet myself.  My husband plugged his hears for most of the concert.  Not because of the music, but because the screaming of women in their 30's and 40's was rendering him deaf (he was one of maybe 5 men at the concert).  Our ears were ringing for days after. 

I came home from the concert that night, declaring it the best night of my life, and immediately began searching for their future concert dates.  This is where the madness began.  I have since been to 9 more concerts (for a total of 10).  Not all concerts are the same, the set list does change in each "section" of the tour. They never intended to be touring 3 years later, but people keep coming so they keep dancing. 

They are great performers, and their new music is excellent (they do not lip sync).  However, the thing that has drawn me to the 10 concerts and what will draw me to many more concerts, is that I am getting to live out my childhood dream.  Every time I attend a concert, I am again 12 years old (How many 12 year olds drink?).  I am very fortunate.  Not many people get to live out their childhood dreams. 

What was your childhood dream?

This picture was taken at Blossom.  My 6th concert.

So, This Is How It Is Going To Be?

If you are reading this, then you probably know me, personally.  If so, then you know I have had some issues with my health in recent years.  While I don't think it is appropriate to discuss all the gory details (in my opinion, for me personally), chances are you have seen some Facebook or Twitter updates documenting my nondescript struggles. 

I recently resigned my position at The Cleveland Clinic so that I could focus on my health.  I am one of those people who always puts others before themselves.  Also, because of some things from my childhood, I don't want to be perceived as a baby that can't take it.  I had five rather unsuccessful surgeries over the last four years all the while working full time and going to school full time to finish my Bachelor's degree.  My philosophy - keep marching on, suck it up and shake it off.  Of course, being the person that I am, this is NEVER the advice that I give to other people.  I finally decided to take my own advice. 

Just when my issues with Crohn's were starting to get a bit better, I hurt my back.  I was sitting on the floor, organizing some things from my closet, stood up and couldn't straighten out my back.  I think that this was from years of being a nurse and bending and lifting.  I think of my back as a rope that kept fraying and it took nearly no stress at all to finally "break".  So, I have been dealing with this issue as well.  I know, lucky me, right?  I keep telling myself it could be worse. 

Well, I had an MRI of my abdomen a few weeks ago.  When the Dr. gave me the results, it was discovered that I have additional issues, in another area, that I was completely unaware of.  Just keep piling it on.  I haven't seen a doctor yet for the other issues, but I am scheduled to see one in two weeks. 

So, this is how it is going to be?  Life is a learning process and apparently, it is more difficult for some to learn life lessons than others.  I am obviously one of the "slow learners", but I think that the light bulb is almost completely lit.  You would think that after all of my experiences as an ER, Hospice, and Oncology nurse, and combined with my own health struggles, I would have learned to stop and smell the roses a lot sooner.  You would also think that I would have realized how important it is to take care of yourself.  I am getting there.

There are a few important things I have learned through this entire ordeal.  Most importantly, if you think something is wrong (you just don't feel right - you know your own body), be persistent.  If you are not getting the answers you want or believe to be true, seek another opinion (or 4).  Secondly, if you want to take care of others, the best thing that you can do is take care of yourself.  Lastly, take time to enjoy life and don't get so wrapped up in petty behaviors or people.  In the grand scheme of things, life is a blink of an eye and you don't want to have wasted it all on things that weren't that important anyway.