So, This Is How It Is Going To Be?

If you are reading this, then you probably know me, personally.  If so, then you know I have had some issues with my health in recent years.  While I don't think it is appropriate to discuss all the gory details (in my opinion, for me personally), chances are you have seen some Facebook or Twitter updates documenting my nondescript struggles. 

I recently resigned my position at The Cleveland Clinic so that I could focus on my health.  I am one of those people who always puts others before themselves.  Also, because of some things from my childhood, I don't want to be perceived as a baby that can't take it.  I had five rather unsuccessful surgeries over the last four years all the while working full time and going to school full time to finish my Bachelor's degree.  My philosophy - keep marching on, suck it up and shake it off.  Of course, being the person that I am, this is NEVER the advice that I give to other people.  I finally decided to take my own advice. 

Just when my issues with Crohn's were starting to get a bit better, I hurt my back.  I was sitting on the floor, organizing some things from my closet, stood up and couldn't straighten out my back.  I think that this was from years of being a nurse and bending and lifting.  I think of my back as a rope that kept fraying and it took nearly no stress at all to finally "break".  So, I have been dealing with this issue as well.  I know, lucky me, right?  I keep telling myself it could be worse. 

Well, I had an MRI of my abdomen a few weeks ago.  When the Dr. gave me the results, it was discovered that I have additional issues, in another area, that I was completely unaware of.  Just keep piling it on.  I haven't seen a doctor yet for the other issues, but I am scheduled to see one in two weeks. 

So, this is how it is going to be?  Life is a learning process and apparently, it is more difficult for some to learn life lessons than others.  I am obviously one of the "slow learners", but I think that the light bulb is almost completely lit.  You would think that after all of my experiences as an ER, Hospice, and Oncology nurse, and combined with my own health struggles, I would have learned to stop and smell the roses a lot sooner.  You would also think that I would have realized how important it is to take care of yourself.  I am getting there.

There are a few important things I have learned through this entire ordeal.  Most importantly, if you think something is wrong (you just don't feel right - you know your own body), be persistent.  If you are not getting the answers you want or believe to be true, seek another opinion (or 4).  Secondly, if you want to take care of others, the best thing that you can do is take care of yourself.  Lastly, take time to enjoy life and don't get so wrapped up in petty behaviors or people.  In the grand scheme of things, life is a blink of an eye and you don't want to have wasted it all on things that weren't that important anyway.